Are You Watching Now?
by Shinzui Naru
Summary: Miaka's POV. It's a special day, and she takes this time to reflect upon the ordeal that brought her love, tested it, and strengthened it tenfold. She also thinks of the person that helped them combat even the uneasiness of their own hearts. Spoilers ahea


Are You Watching Now

Are You Watching Now?

Disclaimer: Fushigi Yuugi isn't mine. Sad, but true. Now LEAVE ME ALONE!!! I have to go cry in the corner… T_T

Notes: Uhhh…set after the OAVs. A one-shot from Miaka's point of view. My second Fushigi Yuugi fanfic…go read the other one too, please! ^_^ This is really short.

Summary: It's a special day for Miaka. She takes this time to reflect upon the ordeal that brought her love, tested it, and strengthened it tenfold. She also thinks of the person that helped them combat even the uneasiness of their own hearts.

~*~

Silk. Pure, white silk.

It always fit you so well, and you always let everyone know, too…loudly. But that's just how you were. Everyone understood that…did you?

I'm finally getting married to Taka…if not for you, I don't think this day would have ever come. I wonder if you'll ever know how much you mean to all of us. You were our strength, and you still are. Did you understand that? Do you yet?

You always put everyone else before yourself. Always kept the real you bottled up inside of that loud, flirty woman you portrayed. 

When I first met you, I hated you. Hated you with my whole heart and the very essence of my being. Yes, I was jealous of you. But slowly…I came to realize that deep inside, you just wanted the best for all of us.

That's what got you killed, you know. My heart still hurts when I think of you that way. As being…_dead_. I refused to admit it at first. After all, you had been there moments earlier…

Can people really disappear that quickly? 

I was so mad at you then…right after it happened. If you cared about us so much, why would you let yourself slip like that?! How could you?! The question ran through my mind for an eternity when I woke the next morning and found that it hadn't just been a dream. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised…

After all, dreams don't usually hurt so much.

I should be thanking you for your sacrifice. It made me realize how important our quest really was…and made me think of the reality of the situation; that any one of us could have been next. You woke me up to reality.

I wonder if you were watching when we found the Shinzaho. Or when…when the others died. 

I'm sure that you cried for them as much as we all did. And that you mourned for Hotohori, especially, with us…maybe more. I know that you wished that he, if no one else, would live…live to see his child born, to rule over Konan until he was old. To love Houki as much as you loved him.

It's almost time. God, I'm scared. Should I be? I've faced so much more…is it funny? I'm about to declare my feelings to the man I love, and promise him forever. Is it right to feel so nervous?

Please, lend me your strength so I can do this…I don't know if I can even put on foot in front of the other right now. I know you'd laugh if you were here.

_"C'mon, Miaka! Smile…you've waited for this forever, act happy!"_ That's what you would say. I'm sure you're saying it right now…I wish you were here to give me strength and support…you always were before.

The doors are opening…there's a big crowd. I feel overwhelmed for a minute. I hope nothing goes wrong…what if I trip and land on my face? I seem to do that a lot.

There he is. He's smiling…but he seems almost as nervous as I am.

I know what people mean when they say this is the happiest day of their live, now. It really _is_ a magical moment. I _do_ love him…I know I always will. I can do this…I know I can. I put one foot in front of the other, slowly walking…walking towards my destiny. I'm thinking of you, and the sacrifices you made to bring us to this very moment.

You said to him that you would always watch over us. Are you watching now? I guess I really don't need to ask such a silly question…I already know you are. And you always will. 

Thank you, Nuriko… 

Yes, a silly little sap fic. I suppose it's romance and kinda sad…please review!!


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